A Sopranos Halloween: That’s What This Is, You Know!
When we think of Sopranos holiday specials, a couple of episodes come to mind. If you’re looking for something a little more secular, not to worry: There are still tickets available for the Winter Festival! While I can’t say there’s an official Sopranos Halloween episode, there’s plenty of scary Sopranos material to go around. Grab your Tony Soprano costume in honor of a Sopranos Halloween and check out these spooky Sopranos moments.
You Will Have Our Sausages for Halloween
First, in The Sopranos Pilot, Kolar Sanitation refuses to collude with Barone Sanitation on a garbage hauling bid. As you probably remember, Tony is a “consultant” for Barone. Christopher Moltisanti is really looking for some recognition, so he decides to “take initiative” and shoot Emil (“Email”) Kolar.
As a result, Christopher has frequent nightmares of Emil coming back to haunt him at Satriale’s. In true Sopranos fashion, we have all the necessities: the wife, the girlfriend, the sausage, the bullets, the Aquatones music, and the paranoia upon waking.
In Case of Fire, Use Stairs
At the same time, in The Sopranos, we all know that real life can be just as scary as dreams. With that, let’s turn to season two, episode two, “Do Not Resuscitate.” I truly believe the scene here with Janice and Livia is one of the most bizarre in the entire series. I don’t even really have a good word to describe it. It just always sends a shiver down my spine. I don’t know if this opinion is unique, but that back and forth between Livia and Janice was on a whole other level.
It's an Irish bar where it's St. Patrick's Day every day, forever...Except on Halloween.
Also, speaking of “Satanic Black Magic,” Christopher goes on a little trip to (what he thinks is) Hell after being shot by Matt Bevilaqua and Sean Gismonte. While critically injured in the hospital, his heart stops and he has a vision of going to Hell.
That is to say, at least it’s what Christopher thought was hell. Apparently, “It’s an Irish bar where it’s St. Patrick’s Day every day, forever.” Thankfully, we have our resident hell scholar, Paulie Walnuts, to explain to Christopher that he was actually in purgatory. Plus, he can tell you exactly how long you’ll be there:
“You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that’s your sentence.“
That's What This Is, You Know. Sick Shit.
As a matter of fact, it was precisely because of Christopher getting shot that Paulie ends up making his way to a psychic’s group session. Christopher claims he saw people he killed during his near-death experience. Naturally, Paulie begins to wonder if he’s also bound to suffer the same fate.
At the meeting, the psychic makes his way over to Paulie with a curious look on his face. As he starts name dropping the Paganos, Paulie REALLY doesn’t appreciate that. How about that poison ivy, though?
It Was That Bird In The Window!
Further, on the day of Christopher’s making ceremony, a raven flies up to the window during the official initiation. Christopher believes this raven was a bad omen and a harbinger of negative things to come.
Indeed, Eugene Pontecorvo was also in the making ceremony that day, so I guess we can’t totally rule that out. I wanted to give the bird a chance to comment, and its formal response by text was “There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem.”
The Trouble With Thinking You're In Gladiator - More like Sopranos Halloween
Speaking of chemical solutions, in “University,” Ralph decides to go full-on Gladiator while high and whack Georgie in the eye with a chain. I know what you’re thinking: These guys do that kind of thing completely sober, so what’s the big deal?
While he may not have a white mask or a partially burnt off face, it’s nearly an understatement to say Ralph’s behavior here was nightmarish. For what it’s worth, putting Georgie in the ER was just the first of many sadistic Ralph moments in University. While I won’t show a picture of him killing Tracee, here’s a picture of Ralph in action just prior to smacking Georgie in the eye.
In addition to Tracee, Gloria Trillo is a woman on The Sopranos who also endured plenty of suffering. While Gloria may have looked more “put together” than Tracee (or Irina), her mind was certainly not in a good place.
While Carmela doesn’t mince words in telling Tony how she died, it was Tony’s nightmare that really displayed the horror and demons surrounding Gloria’s downfall. For what it’s worth, if we’re deciding on costumes, there should be a separate Tony Soprano Halloween costume for his dream life, a heartless Tony Soprano Halloween costume, and a loving, gentle Tony Soprano Halloween costume.
Whoever Did This on The Sopranos Must Be Really Into Halloween
Moreover, in this episode, Tony ends up killing Ralphie after he likely sets a barn on fire with their horse, Pie-O-My, inside. As we all know, Tony doesn’t take too kindly to people who hurt animals. They’re innocent in his eyes, as I’ve mentioned in past posts.
While not scary in a supernatural sense, Ralphie’s head rolling down the stairs in a bowling ball bag certainly checked off the “yuck” box. And poor Pie-O-My. That was just sad all around.
Paulie's Guest to the Halloween Party at the Bing: The Virgin Mary
Furthermore, because Paulie is Paulie, you can be sure there’s more drama. While he’s having a really bad week, he sees a vision of the Virgin Mary at the Bada Bing. No, she wasn’t dancing.
To be clear, this is one of those supernatural moments that may have worked out for the best. Paulie was so shaken up that he went to Nucci’s and watched television with her. That may sound insignificant, but it was very meaningful given his anger upon finding out Nucci was his aunt. They always come back to their mothers (Nucci was his mother, birth mom or not).
Welcome to The (Sopranos Halloween) Premiere of Cleaver!
On the other hand, I had to include at least one slasher film in a Halloween post. That’s where Cleaver comes in. The truth is, neither Christopher nor J.T. created the concept. It was Tony! In Season two, episode two, Tony warns Bobby Baccalieri that if he talks to others about their business, “I promise you they’re going to find you in eight different dumpsters.” Eight different dumpsters?!? Like Cleaver?! Hey, credit’s due where credit’s due.
Conclusion-Have a Happy Sopranos Halloween!
Finally, we come to the end of a Sopranos Halloween with Made in America. Here, the cat that makes its home at the Bada Bing has a knack for staring at now-departed Christopher’s picture. I should note here some anecdotal experience: I think the whole staring at the wall thing is pretty common among cats. Either that, or my old apartment was haunted, too.
What’s more, here’s a bonus: Pussy Bonpensiero in season three, episode two’s “Proshai, Livushka.” I must give credit to Steve Reilly for the reminder! The whole gang’s at the funeral parlor for Livia, but it was only a couple of episodes prior that Big Puss went to swim with the fishes himself. Now get out your best Tony Soprano Halloween costume and act like the motha-f**in-f**in-one that calls the shots!